Why I Don't Like to Buy Audiobooks

I love audiobooks. I devour them while I'm commuting. I get almost all of them either from libraries or free from librivox. Occasionally I've tried buying them, when there's one I want I can't get.

This is always the question I ask myself: why did I pay triple the price of a book for a media put together without thought or plan? The readers are excellent. They are artists. The producers are idiots. Here are some basic, elementary principles of audiobook production practiced by the amateurs at podiobooks.com that the professionals find too complicated.

1. name files in a consistent format. If you call some "Track 1" and others "a1" and still others "01-03" you can cause the book to play out of order on some systems.

2. If you name your tracks "Track 1," name them "Track 01" instead. That way, the track after Track 1 is not Track 10.

3. Don't give your tracks names like "Charmed_TheWorldsofChrestomanci_DiannaWynnJones_Book1_Unabridged_mp3_LookAtMy Navel_Part1.mp3" Not only is it annoying to wait for, but some players will idle-off the screen before it can scroll all the way.
   

4. Include track numbers on ALL tracks. See above for the reason why.

5. Title your albums in a consistent format. That way, I don't wind up with a folder for disks 1, 3, and 4, and separate folders each for 2, 5, and 6.

6. Spell the artist's name consistently. Otherwise, they get filed as two different people. I recommend spelling it correctly, it's the simplest solution.

7. Separate tracks at logical breaks. Hey, I've got a great idea! If the book is separated into chapters, you could break tracks at chapters! It's particularly nice for non-fiction books, so you can skip a chapter you don't want to hear, or hear again a chapter you do want to. Producers might like this idea, too, because they don't have to think about it. The decisions have already been made.

8. Do NOT, under any circumstances, use the length of a CD as the unit of a track. Nobody wants to hold down the fast-forward button for seven minutes trying to find their place--particularly on the expressway. Are you listening, Overdrive Media???

9. Do NOT, NOT, NOT, try to get the entire story into one six and half hour track. Nobody wants to hold down the fast-forward button for half an hour trying to find their place. Are you listening, Audible?

I know you'd have to have the intelligence of a brain-damaged mushroom to think of these things, but follow the example of the people who do your job and don't get paid. They know how to do it.